“Working onto something that I’m proud of, out of the box
An epoxy to the world and the vision we’ve lost
I’m an apostrophe
I’m just a symbol to remind you that there’s more to see…” – Whatever it Takes, Imagine Dragons

I’m back.

Music has been a large part of my life. Rarely does a waking moment pass without earbuds in my ears or my latest favorite song playing and repeating in my mind. I’ve been finding so many more artists and songs that give me courage and reassurance that things just might turn out okay. So many more lyrics that resonate within me and give me a sense of calm, no matter what the genre, what the mood.

But my tastes in music is not the only thing that has changed. I’ve grown- to be more confident in myself, to realize that I’m more than just an introverted writer, to understand that I’m the person I think I am. My thoughts have changed. Who am I now?

I’m me.

I am sociable, I have friends, and I am understood.

I enjoy peppermint tea, but not when I have headaches.

I live in a peaceful forest and enjoy every second outside, even though I dread going outside beforehand.

I have read hundreds of books. I enjoyed some of them, and I didn’t enjoy others. I appreciate every being that I have come into contact with, and enjoy the lessons every one has taught me.

But I also enjoy to listen to the old rock bands that many kids my age don’t appreciate- but I also have Enya on my playlist, I also have Lorde on my playlist, and Against the Current, and a *lot* of Imagine Dragons.

People have favorite artists and favorite genres. I have favorite messages, favorite meanings.

I am older than I look. But- I’m also a kid. I laugh at silly things, I act out randomly and without reason.

I enjoy art- I’ve done a lot of it recently. It doesn’t matter what kind- writing, poetry, digital, traditional – it’s art.

I have found a place where I an accepted and where I can laugh and not care about what people think of me. Over the past few months, I’ve found my voice. Now, it’s time to use it.

“The sun shines when everyone, everyone love yourself to death.” – I’m So Sorry, Imagine Dragons

There are so many places where I belong- but I need to step forwards and find them. In November of last year, a group of friends from Druidawn got together and decided, “Hey, let’s create a medieval fantasy roleplay.” It began as the “Apprentices of Alis Galethorn.” The characters had some magical texting service so they could talk, but we soon grew out of that and immediately created a larger, bigger plot. The group turned into the “Wagon Cult,” due to the characters causing mayhem across the land in wagons. Along this road as our characters went on their own perilous and awarding journeys, we all grew to be close friends in a tight-knit community. If someone were to see us now, I don’t doubt that they would think we all had known each other for years. There are very few places where I feel that free, that able to laugh and share anything. We’ve created a place where I honestly feel like I truly belong. Everyone there is so talented, be it in art or writing, and their own little quirks that one learns along the way. We even have a playlist of all our characters’ theme songs, plot theme songs, and any song we all feel fit the group perfectly… It keeps coming back to music, doesn’t it?

This ties quite well into the Apprentices group, since it’s my character, Wren Grey- the healer and normally one of the most responsible of the character’s group. (I drew this, though the pose is traced from http://www.azaleasdolls.com/.)

“I’m gonna be myself, I’m gonna be someone else, I’m gonna skip my breaks, I’m gonna make mistakes.” – Faster Car, Loving Caliber

Music has made such an impact on my life- honestly, music has helped me struggle through internal battles and arguments, struggle through stress and change.

Every song I listen to becomes my own. Every song someone listens to becomes their own. They claim it as theirs, seeing their truth, relayed in the music.

“I am left, standing on the edge, wondering how we got this far…” – Kids in the Dark, All Time Low.

Perhaps my poetry is being affected by what I listen to- or being fueled by it. But music has helped me through so much- and has helped me find my voice as I struggled to find the right words for all I wanted to say.

“You can’t forsake the journey for the safety of your room until you learn your lesson well…” – Cheshire Kitten (We’re All Mad Here), S. J. Tucker.